The Beginning of the End
by tiffenerkies
Summary: Lily Evans is absolutely excited to be Head Girl! Too bad it comes with the price tag of James Potter as Head Boy. Torn between excitement and anxiety in her final year at Hogwarts, Lily must learn to grow up, accept change, defeat, love and loss.
1. The Beginning

The Beginning of the End

Most people hate endings. I don't mind them so much; the closure is nice. What I really hate is beginnings. Beginnings are terrifying, there's so much uncertainty and anxiety, whereas with endings, you already know what has happened, and you are entirely off the hook, because as they say 'what's done is done' and you can't change what's done. My Mum says that I really do hate endings, and I'm just confused about what makes me anxious. She says a lot of things like that. I think she enjoys pretending to be deep while I half listen and attempt to use the manners she instilled in me during my childhood. As I look into the _beginning_ of the rest of my life, I am terrified of what happens next. I'm not nervous to be done school, I've been at it my whole life, and frankly, I've had enough of it too. I am afraid of what comes after school, because school is basically all I've ever known, all I've ever done, and all I've ever been good at. I'm not good at sports, so professional Quidditch is out, I swoon at the sight of blood, so Healer is out, and I'm not terribly interested in working for the Ministry for Magic, or becoming an Auror, so in all seriousness, the end of my academic career is only a source of anxiety because I have absolutely no idea what to do _next_.

I am extremely excited at the prospect of my relationship with Potter being over. Not that it's much of a relationship; I don't think you can call his helpless pining over me, and my annoyed rejection of him much of a relationship, but it's been going on for the past two years at least, which is much longer than any of the romantic relationships I've had, so I suppose in a way, James Potter is my 'guy'. I hate him, but I don't have any other true prospects. I'm not afraid of what comes next for me romantically. I've basically resigned myself to the fact that there aren't any fish in the Hogwarts lake that I'm interested in hooking, so I'm excited to go forth into the so called 'real world' and never return to the grimy, immature, pool of fish that is the male student population of Hogwarts. I was never really interested in the boys in Muggle School either. My Mum doesn't understand why I'm not interested in James. The girls at school don't understand why I'm not interested in James. James and his friends don't get it either. I suppose the only person who understands is my best friend Dirk. Thank Merlin for him; I swear I wouldn't have made it past Fifth Year if it hadn't been for him.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my heart was broken in Fifth Year by none other than Severus Snape. We weren't together, but we were thick, and he was my best mate until he got in with the wrong crowd. Dirk was there for me through that entire period, poor lad didn't get any credit for it either, up until Fifth Year no one would have thought we were friends. I'm a year above him in school, and he's really bright, being a Ravenclaw and all, but a major pessimist. I can't blame him; not everyone can take being called a Mudblood all the live long day like I've become accustomed to. Dirk and I really do have a lot more in common than I have with anyone else I know. I can't believe that—Christ, is that the time?

"Mum!" I cry, "We have to be at Kings Cross FIVE MINUTES AGO!"

"Oh Lily, stop your belly aching," I hear her reply from downstairs in an annoyingly sweet sing-song voice.

"I'm going to be late—"

"And your trunk is already packed and by the door…"

"Potter won't let me live this down—"

"James sounds like a sweet boy, dear, he won't mind if you're a little late."

"The train is going to leave without me!"

My Mum sighs, she says I have a flair for dramatics, and that my obsessive qualities tend to make things worse, and in this moment, she's right. I spent all morning packing up my last few essentials, and then laying in my bed day dreaming about lord knows what, when I should have been eating breakfast and making sure everything was absolutely ready to go. I can't wait to be back at school… Hogwarts is hands down my favorite place on Earth. I love everything about it! From the eerie edge of the Forbidden Forest to the groundskeeper, the Lake, the Quidditch Pitch, even though I don't care for playing, the grounds, the halls, the changing staircases—all of it. I might be the tiniest bit sad to be leaving at the end of this year, but I'm not afraid of it. I am afraid of being out of school. I am afraid of not knowing what to do next.

I can feel that my face is hot still, halfway through our introductory meeting. I've been on the train for over an hour and my heart rate still hasn't returned to normal. Stressed out doesn't even begin to cover it. I made it to the train in time, thank Merlin; got to say hello to the few friends I keep company with, and within fifteen minutes, Potter, the arrogant toerag, and his insufferable mate, Sirius Black, had cornered me in a compartment, apparently not noticing my discomfort or annoyance. They badgered me about my summer, Sirius attempting to play matchmaker for his best mate, and Potter pretending to take an interest in what I'm saying. AS IF! I couldn't believe he thought I'd be stupid enough to fall for his false interest and encouraging words. Thankfully it only lasted about 20 minutes because we had to change into our robes and start the Prefects meeting, so he wasn't able to embarrass me as much. At least not so severely.

"Lily… lily… EVANS"

Typical; if it wasn't bad enough that I almost missed the train, now I'm being singled out for daydreaming through a meeting that I'M supposed to be leading. _Act cool. Act cool…._ I think.

"Yes, James?" I say in my best civil voice.

"A Prefect asked about the rounds schedule. You have it, don't you?"

"Don't you remember it? You are Head Boy." I glance at the Prefects who are starting to snicker. _Thank goodness, I've embarrassed him back, the heat is off me._

"No, I've forgotten it. D'You mind?"

I grin, enjoying the upper hand for once. "James and I will do rounds on Sundays, 7th year Prefects are on Mondays and Thursdays, 6th year Prefects on Tuesdays and Fridays, 5th year Prefects on Wednesdays and Saturdays." I clear my throat. "Please schedule yourselves accordingly, and make sure you get us your schedules as soon as possible so we know who to contact if something happens during the day. We use the quick-owl system, so don't be surprised if you wake up to an owl on your bedpost."

Everyone nods, the 5th years look entirely overwhelmed. _Too bad_, I mentally smirk. _Lily Evans runs a tight ship._ _Someone's got to._ I honestly have resigned myself to the fact that I'm going to have to 'pull teeth' to get Potter to participate in anything, and that I'm going to be doing a lot of his fair share of the work. James Potter, more often than not, is a modern day Houdini. Always disappearing without warning and popping up unexpectedly.

The rest of the meeting goes off without a hitch, it's mostly just people asking questions and sharing stories about their summer breaks, too bad I'm not interested. It's all I can do to keep from nodding off while a snobby 7th year Slytherin Prefect tells us all about how her parents bought her another pony but it's not as nice as her other ponies, so she's trying to have them buy her another one to make up for it. Or some such nonsense, I have to admit; I'm not really listening.

I'm sure that I should be listening better to Dumbledore's speech as well, but I tune most of it out, there's the normal things like 'keep out of the forest' and 'don't go here' and 'don't do this'. There are a few things that are new he mentions, like Professor Slughorn was honored over the summer with some new award that I wish Dumbledore wouldn't have gone into detail about, since I'll have to listen to it again at the Slug Club meeting. He also mentions a new Herbology Professor by the name of Sprout, she receives lots of applause from the male students; I suppose if I had to comment, I'd say she's pretty, for as old as she probably is.

All in all, the students of Hogwarts are adjusting normally to their new year. I sit near the empty end of the table with Potter so we can introduce ourselves to our newest members, as Head Boy and Girl, on top of both being Gryffindors. I am thankful that I don't have to leave the Gryffindor table and sit alone with James just because we're in a position together. _Eugh,_ I sigh, I loathe the dirty thoughts that Potter, and his friends have put into my head. Any position with Potter, is something that I am excited to be done with. Too bad that even though he's Head Boy, I WANTED to be Head Girl. He's actually, quite honestly ruining the experience for me so far. I was so excited when I got my letter over the summer with my supplies list. It was uplifting and devastating all at the same time. I was absolutely shocked that he was even qualified to become Head Boy. I wanted to believe that it was all because he was popular, but I'm not popular, and I know Professor Dumbledore is _way_ smarter than that, so I have determined that it will be my task this year to find out exactly _what_ Dumbledore sees in him that I do not. It can't be his shaggy raven hair, can it?


	2. The Portrait

The Portrait

A.k.a. The First in a Long List of Things Belonging to Both of Us

Professor Dumbledore's speech just ended, everyone clapped, and Lily ate far more than she should have. Currently she is waiting at the Gryffindor table, waiting for James as he says goodbye to Remus, who is trying to break off the conversation so he can escort the first years upstairs to Gryffindor Tower. Lily has always had a strange fondness for Remus Lupin because he is such a nice guy. She's never understood what he sees in Potter, and why they are friends, but has nothing to hold against him—After all Remus didn't chase her down the corridors begging for a date to Hogsmeade. She absentmindedly twirls the end of her braid in her fingers, an obsessive habit that Dirk says makes her IQ look thirty points lower. She can't help it though, it's not something she does on purpose, and she often doesn't even notice she's doing it until he whines at her to stop.

Lily is just about to chastise Potter for holding things up, but when she looks up to do so, he is staring at her creepily after having finally released Remus to his duties. She wants to complain but instead just bites her lip. By the time James reaches her, Professor McGonagall is tapping her fingers impatiently on her hip. Lily hadn't even noticed she'd walked up. Which was odd considering her presence in a room, but regardless, the 40-something was waiting, so the girl stood, and accompanied them out of the hall, the last students, Head Boy and Head Girl. The last time too; this was the last time Lily Evans would ever exit the Great Hall after a Welcome Feast. _Hm,_ she thought, _What a queer feeling._

At first it seemed as though McGonagall was playing a trick on them. The route to the Head Student chambers was not somewhere either James or Lily had been before. Initially it seemed McGonagall was heading straight for Gryffindor Tower.

"Professor…" Said Potter, "How was your summer?"

"Quiet. It was quite the treat not having to worry about my less than careful students, if only for a few months."

She spoke down her nose at him, but Lily saw a mischievous twinkle in her eye; it was enough to make her wonder if Professor McGonagall was _really_ as stoic as she pretended. Lily mentally chastised herself, she hadn't been paying enough attention. She knew they went up the main staircase towards the Gryffindor common room, but she couldn't remember if it moved once or twice before they got off. She also couldn't remember if it was a left, or a right at the tapestry of the Woman in White, or if they were on the fourth or fifth floor. _I'm screwed tomorrow morning when I try to find my way down to breakfast…_

"Here we are then," McGonagall cleared her throat, turning to face the portrait at a better angle, staring the matron directly in the face. "Evangeline Orpington, Minister for Magic from 1849 to 1855—"

"The Minister who had the idea for Platform 9 and ¾" Lily beamed. "What an honour, Minister!" Lily grinned from ear to ear. She hadn't known Hogwarts even had a portrait of Ms. Orpington. She'd seen her picture in _Hogwarts, A History,_ but never imagined in a million years she'd get to speak with her, or have the opportunity to see her every day, right outside their door. Even having Potter here, watching her gush, couldn't ruin this for her, and it really appeared that he was going to try. Lily was expecting some remark about how she was embarrassing herself, but he just gawked at her, obviously having no idea she was a history buff, not that one would have to be a history buff to know of Evangeline Orpington. She was one of the most famous Minister's of all time.

"Charmed, I'm sure" was the Minister's response. "Looking forward to another great year. Last year's Head Boy and Girl were very quiet and studious. I'm assuming I can look forward to the same with you two?"

Potter opened his mouth to say something, but Lily interjected before he got the chance to ruin her first impression of them.

"-Absolutely! Old Jamesy and I always have our noses in books!" Lily wrapped an arm around his shoulders and attempted to look chummy. A glance was exchanged between the Minister and Professor, but she wasn't sure what to make of it, so she let the Head Boy go, wondering now if she'd made a worse impression than he was going to.

"The password for this week is 'Honeydukes.' You'd do well not to spread it around too much, the Head chambers are meant for your private use. Guests are to be entertained elsewhere whenever possible. These chambers were designed to facilitate an easy working relationship between two Head Students from separate houses, though that isn't the case this year." She eyed her pupils suspiciously, as if somehow they had already done something wrong.

"Absolutely. No. Funny-business." Were her daunting final words before she stalked off.

Thankful to be free of the awkward moment in the corridor, Lily unpacked her things, getting a head start on organizing her room. It had only been about half an hour before she heard a knock at the door. She was tempted not to answer it, knowing it could only be James, but in the interest of a functional working relationship, she flicked her wand at it, and turned back to her unpacking.

"Lily, I…"

"You can save it if you're asking for a date, Potter. I'm not in the mood. It's too soon in the year for you to be pestering my already. Besides, won't it get quite old for you if you ask every day for the whole year? We'll be seeing so much of each other. Couldn't you at least wait for me to settle in?"

"…I wanted… to give you your scarf." He studied his shoe, which he was digging into the ornate burgundy carpet. Sure enough, in his outstretched hand was her crimson scarf. The exact shade of her cheeks, if the fiery feeling she had was of any indication.

"Oh. I—Er… Thank—Thank you." She couldn't meet his eyes, and thankfully he left the second the scarf was out of his hands. Maybe he _was_ going to ask her out, and that's the reason he was so embarrassed too, or maybe he was just embarrassed for her, but she couldn't be sure.

In fact, James wasn't embarrassed at all. He was about ready to leap from his skin in excitement. He, perhaps wrongly, attributed her blush to a crush. Thinking he had finally somehow gotten through to her about his being a proper candidate for a date. Her words said no, for now, but he thought that perhaps, this was the beginning of a new chapter in their quasi-relationship. The chapter that took them away from childish bickering acquaintances, and at the very least, added up to a friendship.

Later that evening, Lily occupied herself with a book by the fire. The warmth of the hearth engulfed the whole room, which wasn't too daunting a task. The Head Student common room was small, but ornate. Expertly decorated with landscapes of the Hogwarts grounds, soft golden curtains, neutral furniture, and a deep blood red carpet. The decorating scheme would have overwhelmed anyone not accustomed to the Gryffindor common room, and because of this, Lily assumed it was magically redecorated based on it's occupants. Whatever magic it was that had sensed her tastes, had done an outstanding job.

The enchantment, whichever it was, knew that although Lily hated to be cold, she loved the look of leather furniture because her living room at home was full of it. The tan leather sofa reminded her of caramel, or cappuccino, and made her feel warm, especially when wrapped up in the knitted throw that was draped across its back. The colours of certain objects, and a few of the baubles in the room would not have been her first choice, but she knew the enchantment was in place to serve both of it's occupants, and not everything could be about her.

The portrait swung open into the main room where Lily was currently nesting on the sofa. The room was several feet long, and wide enough to fit all of its many objects comfortably. Off to the side, out of view of the portrait hole was a small kitchenette. It had only a bare minimum of objects, all the fixings for tea, a small fridge for cold water and drinks, a bowl of fruit, and some cheese. She was assuming it was restocked by the house elves employed by the castle, but she had not seen any since her arrival, so she couldn't be sure. Past the end of the kitchenette, on the other side of the set of armchairs, and beside the small balcony, were the staircases to their rooms. The room to the left had an ancient wooden plaque that said "Head Boy" and a matching one above the staircase to the right said "Head Girl" and lead up to her room. She wasn't sure what James's room looked like, but as they were both from Gryffindor, she assumed his looked much like hers, if not identical.

As Lily snuggled into the sofa, rolled up in the large evergreen blanket, she couldn't help but be excited. She was back in her favorite place in the world, and even though she wanted nothing more than to visit her friends, she couldn't ditch a nagging feeling that she should stay in their chambers and attempt to make nice. James hadn't been around for much of the evening, at least not in her sight. For much of the time they had been around, she assumed he was in his bedroom, but she had been wrong. The entire time she had been sitting on their tan sofa, waiting for him to descend the stairs and clear the awkward tension from earlier, he had been in the Gryffindor common room (at least she assumed, once he came back) hanging out with his mates.

When he finally came back to their chambers, he fixed himself a mug of tea in their tiny kitchenette silently, while she looked on from the couch. He had been in the room for several minutes when she finally got up the courage to speak.

"I know I really shoved my foot in my mouth earlier. But that's no reason to ignore me now…"

He looked up at her and furrowed his brows, not saying anything. Hurt, Lily looked back down to her book, a muggle story she had brought from home, _Jane Eyre_, a favorite of hers for the story it told about one overcoming her born position in life. She glared at the pages for several minutes, her cheeks feeling hot again. She didn't look up again until she felt James standing beside her, and his eyes on her face. She was surprised to see that he was offering her tea. Her hands were hesitant to respond, and her face was clouded with confusion long after she took her first sip. She held the mug between both hands, the tag of the teabag tickling her thumb.

"I think maybe we got off on the wrong foot. I want you to know that things are going to be different this year."

AN: Don't hate me! I thought it would be fun to end it somewhere a little bit precarious. I kind of like starting chapters right in the middle of things. It's been about two weeks since my last update, and you can expect updates to take this long on average, due to school and work, and other obligations. Hope you enjoyed reading! Feel free to leave constructive reviews/comments. See you next time! P.s. I'm not going to put a disclaimer on every chapter. This is the last one. I own nothing, I just like to bring J.K.'s characters to life.


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